Selfish

Due to the sinful nature we were born in to it is natural for us, as humans, to be a selfish people. Not to mention that the world bombards us with the anthem, "Look out for number 1." (number 1 being ourselves) Hopefully as we grow up we learn to be considerate of others and we quickly learn that we're not the only people on the planet. Then when we give our lives to Christ we realize we are here to serve others in His name. Remember that old acrostic from Sunday School: J.O.Y.? Jesus, Others, You. There's the "You" at the END of the list. Then when we joyfully enter motherhood we quickly learn to shove that selfish old sin nature down even further. Sometimes we can keep it from rearing it's ugly head for an hour, or a day or, if you're really good, maybe even a week. As a wife and mom everything about you is at the end of the list. You are the last one to get a shower, if you're lucky to get one at all, your room is the last room in the house to ever get cleaned, you spend your time trying to make your kids and husband look presentable only to run out of the house with two different shoes and earrings on. The list goes on and on.

My point of all of this is to say that today "selfish" took over my body. My day started at 6:30 a.m. Now for some of you this is normal, however normal to us is 7:15 for SG and 8 for Rylee, selfish kicked in, I was not ready to be up! I made the girls sit in our bed and watch Dora so I could stay in bed, curled up under the covers for a few more minutes. That didn't last long. After we were up and going things went pretty smoothly and we were actually on time for church. When we got there I hauled the girls and all their stuff in only to find out that unbeknownst to me Phillip had to go over to Butler for the morning. I came in looking for a savior or a helper and my helpmate was gone. (Not to mention the fact that I didn't even get to see him in his cute orange pants and brown dress shirt that I had helped him pick out the night before) Selfish sprung up in my heart again. Then before I could even sit down to enjoy our 2 year anniversary celebration someone came to tell me that SG had escaped from her class, AGAIN! Selfish again, "Why do I have to deal with this by myself? Where is Phillip when I need him?" Made it through the service, went and got the girls then the wait began for our lunch. During this time SG managed to eat a small bag of sweet tarts, a twizzler and a piece of cake. After that, with no lunch in sight, I packed up the girls, took them to the car (thanks for your help Kelly, we love you) and strapped them in their seats so they could watch their movies in a contained environment while we finished out our wait. Finally Jason's Deli arrives. I left the girls in the car to run inside and get ours only to find out that they hadn't labeled any of them!! After 10 minutes of trying to help Stephanie sort through the lunches, Sean came to tell me that the "First Time Visitors" tent had blown over on our car and the girls were freaking out. WHY ME LORD?!?!? So I quickly grabbed our food and headed to the car. Tired, hungry, cranky girls... gas light comes on. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Selfish..."I just want to go home, get in my pjs and crawl in the bed." Oops, I failed to mention that I now have the sickness that the girls had last weekend and my throat is killing me with every swallow. So, we finally made it home, scarfed down lunch and headed off to bed. Thankfully the girls went down easily. As I laid in the bed I just kept thinking how unfair it was that I didn't get to go to the baptism service and support my friends whose children were being baptized and my husband who was baptizing for the first time at Elevation. Selfish again. Then my thoughts shifted to, "Where is someone to take care of me when I'm feeling bad? I'm always the one who takes care of everyone in the family when their sick, but then when I am sick no one is there to take care of me and I still have to take care of them and their needs." Selfish was all over me today!

So there is no point in all of this except for me to get it off my chest and say that I need Jesus more now than ever! Sorry to everyone who encountered me in all of my selfishness today. Thank God His mercies are new every morning! I'm looking forward to tomorrow.