What is a friend? Do you have any friends or could they be labeled more of an acquaintance? I think people who can count, on one hand, the number of true friends they have had in their lifetime are truly blessed.
A friend, in my book, is someone you can “do life with.” This person knows you deeply and still loves you and in return they share themselves with you knowing they will still be loved, they call to check on you when they know your husband is out of town and you’re home alone with the kids, they challenge you spiritually and keep you accountable in your weak areas, they take time to have “girl time”, your families hang out together and bond while you watch your children grow up together, they are completely honest, in a loving way, with you, there are no hidden agendas, no faking it, you can each just be yourself.
Below I have listed a few examples of this kind of friendship:
www.larryhubatka.com - Everybody Needs An E to the P (great definition of a true friend)
www.kellyhubatka.com - I need a friend like her: willing to be honest with her struggles, loves the Lord, loves her family, needs her friends, etc…
www.charlestonyaya.blogspot.com - Ordinary Life (another wonderful definition of true friendship)
All of the above mentioned stuff is to say that I need a friend like this and I want to be a friend like this! We have lived in the ATL for almost three years now and there are times when I wonder if anyone would miss me if I were gone (besides my family) because nobody really knows ME. One of the downsides of living in a big city is that everyone lives so far apart that it is really hard to stay connected and do things with people in your small group when they live on the other side of the city. (that’s a whole different blog) Believe me, I haven't just sat around waiting for a great friend to fall out of the sky. I tried out our local MOPS group but didn't really connect, I tried getting into a "moms" small group that meets during the day, but they're all "taking off" for the summer, I have even tried to volunteer at the church but apparently they don't have enough room in childcare for my kids. Ok, back to the part about no one knowing me.
On Sundays I am either “Phillip’s wife” or “Savannah Grace and Rylee’s mom”. Now don’t get me wrong I love being those two things but sometimes I just want to be Anita. I want people to know me as Anita because they know who I am and not just know me because Phillip mentioned me in his talk on Sunday morning. During the week I stay at home with two little girls because we have sacrificed financially knowing this was the Lord’s will but not having any money to go do anything with them so I feel like a “shut-in” half the time. I don’t want this blog to turn into a pity party I just needed to throw some thoughts out on paper/cyberspace. Sorry to sound all sappy and whiny, but does anyone feel what I’m talking about here? I just want the Lord to send me one good, true friend here in the area.
P.S. Grey'a Anatomy was AWESOME tonight!!
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Friend
Posted by Anita at 11:51 PM
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5 comments:
Perhaps focusing positive on the friends that you DO have that care about you, and not on this "friend" that you don't have would make you feel better.
Just a thought...
You are so kind! I wish we lived closer, our kids would be great friends and we could regularly take them all out to dinner. :) I'll never forget that night.
But I do know what you mean about friends. It takes awhile to get to a place where you feel "known" by people. It's amazing how easy it is (especially when you are really involved in a church), to be surrounded by people but still feel lonely at times. I struggle with that since we moved to NC too. I'll be praying for those few that will come along side you and grow with you and your family. You are a gem, and anyone in ATL is lucky to have you as a friend!
I feel like that very often as well. Just the other night I thought I was having a heart attack and started picturing who would attend my funeral. Morbid, huh? And I do have some true friends although they are not christian as far as I know and I'm working on that!
I made these friends through the program I am in with the girls, so we all have similar parenting styles and values and family is a top priority. I thought that I had those kind of frinds in high school and college but it is a whole different ball game when you get married and have kids.
I'll be praying for you because I know how you feel. If we lived inthe same area I bet we would be friends which would be weird but totally awesome.
I do know whatcha mean though, Anita. I'm always envious when I watch a TV show or movie and the girlfriend just "pops in" for coffee or to chat about nothing. My Mom had this kind of friend when I was in high school and I always remember Ms. Dale being there in her bathrobe as I was leaving for dances, supporting my Mom as she supported me. I long for that "comfortable, just being YOU, completely empathizing" kind of friendship. We have a WONDERFUL small group but, like you mentioned, we're spread apart and it's hard to get together sometimes.
We oughta try to meet for a playdate with the kids one day...we could use it this summer!
--Katie B. (whose glad to see some folks I recognize on Blogger!!)
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